In my last blog entry, I explained about Japanese Valentine’s Day that it is customary for women to give chocolate gifts for men they like. Though Valentine’s Day (Feb.14) is over, the event is still ongoing. Whoever received chocolate gifts on Valentine’s Day is expected to give return gifts.

Return Gifts for Valentine’s Day in one month later on White Day.
The budget for the return gifts is expected to spend 1.5 to 3 times more!?

Another trait of Japanese Valentine custom is that men who received Valentine’s chocolate gifts on Valentine’s Day, whether the gifts were “love-you-chocolate,” or “thank you chocolate, must give back so-called return gifts on March 14th, “White Day.”
The items typically selected for return gifts of White Day are hard candies, cookies, and marshmallows. This is also the outcome of the sales promotion that confectionery companies created.

(By the way, this custom of return gift has recently been practiced also in China, Korea, and Taiwan, but there is no such custom in US or Europe. White Day is nothing but unknown word. )

The average budget women tend to spend on one “love-you-chocolate gift” is around \2500 to \3000. “Thank you gifts” in contrast, are usually bought in big quantities, so it eventually requires reducing a unit cost, approximately less than \500 each.

On the other hand, return gifts on White Day from men are expected to be 1.5 to 3 times more expensive items than the Valentine’s gifts. It may not be too difficult to come up with a return gift for wives or lovers. Taking out for a dinner or sending flowers would convey their feelings of love and gratitude.

It was for the “obligated/courtesy gifts” distributed in office that many men struggled in preparing. Sweets solely did not meet the expectations, so it was common for the White Day gifts contained additional item such as handkerchief, coffee mug, stationary, or something small but practical items. This custom steadily but obviously became burden on men. Not knowing what to buy, some men would ask their wives or girlfriends to select White Day gifts. Don’t you think they got their priorities backwards?

Returning gifts or gratitude is considered to be a proper manner in Japan and White Day unexceptionally follows it. But lately, it seems that many people prefer the custom of US and Europe that Valentine’s gifts should be given or exchanged without being stereotypical to genders.

Latest Trend of Valentine’s Chocolate: “Friendship chocolate” & “My chocolate”

In addition to the basic Valentine’s chocolate gifts, “love-you-chocolate,” and “obligated/courtesy chocolate,” there are two other types of chocolate gifts that have become popular for the past years. They are called “friendship chocolate” and “my chocolate.”

“Friendship chocolate gifts” are exchanged with girl friends to thank for being friends. This is popular among young girls in school, even in kindergarten. As it’s named “friendship chocolate,” you need to give the gifts fairly to all the friends in class if you choose to do so. In many cases, Valentine’s friendship gifts are homemade snacks or you buy self-packed small chocolate sweets in a family pack and rewrap. Either way, it is very important to prepare enough numbers of gifts; otherwise, it could affect the relationship with your friends.

Assuming that “friendship chocolate” is to nourish peer relationship for school age girls, “my chocolate” is for working women or household wives in 20s to 40s to reward themselves for working hard every day. The chief distinction of “my chocolate” is the budget that women willingly spend on. They do not hesitate to pay \4000 ($40.00) for a 9-piece assorted chocolate box because it is their treat. For that reason, many major department stores give high priority to hold Valentine Fairs where high brand chocolates of famous patissiers or chocolatiers gathered from all over the world.

Effect of Valentine’s Day

We cannot help admitting that media and confectionery industries have great influence on Japanese Valentine’s Day. Some can take advantage of this custom to build up better relationship with others while others may not find it so fun.

For example in schools, good-looking and athletic boys mostly attain popularity and attentions from girls. It is quite natural for such boys to receive several Valentine’s chocolate gifts each year since grade school. While competing with their peers for the numbers of chocolate gifts, they tend to become self-absorbed and narcissist. In contrast, some boys who don’t get categorized as popular may suffer from feeling inferior for not getting even one “thank you chocolate gift” from girls.

Some girls also participate in Valentine’s event just for complacence purpose. They don’t expect to become someone’s special girlfriend. What they value the most is the act of ‘giving a chocolate gift to someone nice.’ It is not surprising to find that there are quite many girls who give chocolate gifts to boys they have never spoken to. Girls like to hang out as a pair or a group and it is so exciting for them to chat about boys. They simply enjoy the process of Valentine event. They decide who to give chocolate gifts to, go out for shopping or make chocolate sweets with friends. They even accompany their friends when giving Valentine’s chocolate gifts to boys.

Conveying the feelings to others is more important than giving a gift in US and Europe on Valentine’s Day. A gift is just one way of expression. But it is obvious that people in Japan attach too much importance to giving a chocolate, which tells how the custom of Valentine’s Day has grown and spread in Japan.

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Japanese Valentine’s Day is unique, isn’t it? But I need to emphasize that it is a precious opportunity for the Japanese who seldom express affection. Especially, the married couples who are nurturing children tend to hesitate to tell each other “I love you.” I hope many people make great use of Valentine’s Day to feel favorable towards other people, whether they are lovers, family member, or friends and enjoy the special day to tell their honest, thankful feelings.

On the day before Valentine’s Day during my lunch break, I happened to stop by a supermarket which has a small flower shop at the entrance. On entering, I saw several foreign men (probably US service men from US military base) holding a bouquet of red roses. As I walked by into the store, I also saw several Japanese women picking up Valentine’s chocolate gifts in the separated section. It was such an impressive and contrastive scene.

By the way, I gave chocolate cakes to my husband, but he did not have anything ready for me as expected.(^^; I am looking forward to White Day!